alright so i know we are all into punk sirius who is hot on slumming it in his teens, showing just how connected to the working classes and the great unwashed he is by living in a tiny poky flat in London, BUT I submit, for your delectation:
everyone lives au in which sirius decides to reverse stick it to his fam by joining forces with andromeda to become the hot new socialites in magical britain, hosting charity balls for postwar rehabilitation and like, vampire & werewolf charity fundraisers - lavish affairs in which the rich and the beautiful are subtly pressured into outbidding each other into donating more and more absurd amounts of money or else risk being socially ostracized FOREVER because they won’t receive one of those EXCLUSIVE invitations to number 12 Grimmauld Place & this INFURIATES narcissa who CLEARLY is the HEIR to the social lives of the black family and will not be USURPED by her black sheep of a sister and the family’s wild canon and dissolute disowned heir, her cousin lbr she probably bitches about this to Bellatrix’s portrait ad infinitum and Bella’s just like why don’t I have my WAND why can’t I cast spells and make her SHUT UP she and Draco grow very close in those months with Narcissa’s wailing incessantly about how NO ONE will attend any of the Malfoy’s social events and also FANCY!!!! ANDROMEDA HAVING THE AUDACITY TO DISINVITE ME FROM MY OWN ANCESTRAL HOME!!! AN INSULT NOT TO BE BORNE!!!!
anyway, Sirius obviously throws each and every single piece of furniture in Grimmauld Place out and strips it down, knocks down a couple of walls and adds in some elegant french windows and with Fleur’s help redesigns the place entirely because for god’s sake, victorian gothic is SO last century and besides, if we’re really doing pureblood decadence the only way to go is French Rococo lbr and everything is now MIRRORS and GILT and frankly ridiculous furniture that is IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT ON but everyone adores even when they’ve been standing in six inch heels for three hours running. Walburga Black obviously has kittens over this redecoration and this meticulous stripping away of their HISTORY (we can trace our family all the way to the Norman conquest! Your great great great great great great great great great great grandfather fought alongside King William at Hastings (unlike the Malfoys who only LIE about their involvement, just so we’re clear) she shouts until Sirius reveals his party trick aka the elaborately brocaded silk curtains he’s installed to be pulled over his mother’s painting so she becomes yet another one of the #quirks of Grimmauld Place, an entertainment set piece and nothing more).
Meanwhile in the library Sirius probably donates half the books to Hogwarts and then redoes the entire place in homage to the Brighton Pavillion (You see I’m not entirely unpatriotic, he tells the portrait of his fuming father) and then installs CARD TABLES at which the rich and the famous can do things like LOSE ENTIRE FORTUNES and also the family diamonds - all in the name of charity.
Also, most importantly is the draw Sirius exerts on the entire wizarding world because he obviously cultivates an eccentric and bohemian persona and insists on receiving guests for one hour only from a chaise longue in one of the parlours where he reclines in these hideous brocaded silk dressing gowns, with bottles of sal vol and assorted smelling salts around him and he only ever extends a single well-manicured hand to everyone: twelve years in Azkaban, he says faintly to everyone who visits, but the healer says I should recover my nerves soon (no one knows when ‘’’’’’’’’soon’’’’’’’’’ is, but this goes on for at least ten years after the war.)
And obviously each and every single one of his relatives stuck in their portraits are clawing their eyes out or shrieking in horror about WE HAVE BEEN REDUCED!!!! REDUCED TO BEING NO MORE THAN THE LAUGHING STOCK OF BRITAIN!!! except possibly Regs who is amused at just how terribly transparent & crude his brother is at the art of provocateuring.
concept: lily & james potter doing the school run
#or rather just getting out of the flat like…#‘harry PLEASE put your glasses on your face plEASE’#‘but MUMMY sirius says if i wear glasses at school ill get made fun of’ ‘your dad didnt get made fun of’ 'well thats not what sirius says’#'james you can bully harry into putting on his glasses or you can make toast there is no inbetween’#'right but lily do you know where my mobile is? do you know where YOUR mobile is? harry have you played with them in the bath agai–’#'WHY do you ALWAYS accuse me EVERY TIME something goes wrong around here’ wonders harry sitting on the table#with no shoes socks OR glasses on and a pyjama top over his uniform as if in protest to the entire institution of education
These are just some Lily Evans headcanons that I have.
• She was just as bad (or maybe even worse) than James and Sirius when it came to pranks, practical jokes, and breaking the rules.
• She was just better at hiding it.
• All the teachers thought she was this perfect angel who could do no wrong, but when they weren’t looking, she was a force to be reckoned with.
• She definitely had a prank war with the Marauders that went throughout all their years at Hogwarts.
• The prank war didn’t end when she started dating James though.
• If anything it got more intense.
• She never got caught playing pranks or breaking the rules.
• Except once in sixth year.
• James took the blame for it and got detention so she wouldn’t break her perfect record. And that’s when she realized that she maybe liked him (but she would deny it if it ever got out)
• After they all finished school and joined the Order, instead of pranking each other, Lily and the Marauders decided to team up and prank the other members.
• Because constantly losing loved ones was really depressing and they just wanted to lighten the mood sometimes so they didn’t all lose their minds.
• Lily couldn’t resist pranking James on their wedding day, though.
• She got Sirius to dress up her in wedding dress and put on a big veil to cover his face.
• So when he got to the end of the aisle, and James removed the veil to reveal Sirius, instead of Lily, underneath James screamed like a little girl.
• And you could just hear Lily in another room dying of laughter.
Right now, all I can imagine is new parent James Potter, half-asleep and completely out-of-it, grabbing the first blanket-like thing in reach to wrap baby Harry in, before putting him down and going back to bed.
In the morning, Lily shoves him awake and snaps, “I can’t find the baby or your dumb Invisibility cloak.”
And James just stares at her, then realizes, “I have made a terrible mistake.”
- sirius doesn’t really like andromeda’s side of the family
- like, narcissa always complains about playing in the dirt and bella keeps pushing him on the ground because he won’t share his toys
- but andromeda…she’s decent
- so when he joins hogwarts, he’s almost shocked to see her sitting at the slytherin table with her sisters
- but then he remembers that this is andy and no matter how decent she is…she’s still slytherin
- and when he meets james and remus and peter he kind of ignores her for a while, although he can almost sense that she’s secretly proud he’s giving his family the bird
- but then he runs into her at the library, his perfect cousin, snogging a muggle-born hufflepuff named tonks
- and he’s disheveled and poor and everything that his family is against
- so when andromeda gets disowned and tries to leave ted because she’s not worth any of this, she really isnt
- sirius is the one who tracks her down, a mandrake leaf stuck to the roof of his mouth, and convinces her to stay with ted
- because she’s good and kind and not at all like her sisters, and he knows that, and he can see how much ted loves her
- and, inevitably, when sirius gets his very own letter, it’s accompanied by a tiny pygmy owl carrying a howler from andromeda
- because sirius needs to know that he’s still worthy and that he’s not a disgrace and that regulus will be okay
- because sirius and andromeda were two blacks without a family tree, that built their own from the root up, and had nothing but each other to cling to for a semblance of what used to be
let’s be real if harry was raised by mcgonagall he would not only be the most badass kid at hogwarts, he would be the most polite, and the sweetest, and would probably have neater hair, not to mention he would most likely kill voldemort at age eleven and still meet minerva for tea with the time to spare
harry: mama, just killed a man
minerva: have a biscuitPUT A WAND AGAINST HIS HEAD
YELLED A SPELL AND NOW HES DEAD
303. Some students have figured out how to charm wands into acting like paintbrushes, just point your wand at the desired colour you wish to paint in and it will draw paint in that hue. Artsy ravenclaws have used this to their advantage, filling the walls with magical paintings of churning seas and shining galaxies that seem to move around the room
submitted by anon
• The Potters gave James his very boring, British name because they were worried he’d be teased if they gave him an Indian name
• James worked hard to be good at quidditch, mostly because he enjoyed it, but partly to defy the stereotypes that Indian people weren’t very good at it (what with the popularity of flying carpets in the Eastern hemisphere and the Indian team’s appalling performance in the World Cup)
• The boys celebrate Diwali every year by decorating their dorm and the common room with hundreds of lanterns and after the first year the house elves help out, Mrs Potter always sends them all sweets and gifts
• One year, James set off fireworks in the great hall at dinner, McGonagall made sure it didn’t happen again
• As Holi always falls on the day of a full moon and Remus is too ill to take part, Sirius suggested bringing the powder paint with them to the shrieking shack and celebrating in their animagus forms
•The powder always clumps in their fur and sticks to the damp walls of the shack, making it actually quite a cheery place in other circumstances
• As James is bilingual in Hindi and English, he will not only swear or insult people in Hindi, but also makes most exclamations of excitement or affection in his mother tongue too
• Lily thinks this is extremely cool, James starts speaking in Hindi more often
•James is also a vegetarian Hindu and greatly missed his dad’s Mughlai cooking when confronted with the somewhat limited and flavourless vegetarian options at Hogwarts
• That is until Peter had a word with the kitchen elves and brilliant Delhi dishes like vegetable biryani and mattar paneer started appearing on the Gryffindor table
- Sirius and Remus are making out in a broom closet after the dreariest Ancient Runes class
- Sirius is pinned against the wall.
- His hands are untucking Remus’ shirt.
- Needless to say,It’s getting steamy.
- They break apart for a second.
- “When’s your next class” Sirius pants.
- “I’ve got 15 minutes” Remus mutters barely finishing his sentence, for pulling Sirius’ lips up to his.
- Hands are in hair, under shirts and steadily travelling further south.
- Remus is about to undo Sirius’ belt buckle.
- then,
- Filch opens the closet and is absolutely shocked.
- He’s seen it all- Lucius Malfoy fighting to undo a Jelly Legs Jinx or a flash of red hair and James Potter leaning over and drapping his hands over his crotch.
- But Argus Filch is astonished. He’s also (unfortunately) disgusted.
- He grabs them by the collars and throws them out into the corridor, in front of a growing crowd.
- “Filthy queers…filthy.” He mutters under his breath. He starts to hobble off.
- Remus has to hold Sirius back from going after him.
- He agrees to skip his next class. (Slughorn should be grateful not to have him in Potions, really.)
- The Marauders have come together.
- Consider it an emergency meeting.
- They find Filch on the map.
- He’s talking to Dumbledore.
- Sirius mimics what Filch must be saying to Dumbledore.
- “Breaking the law those two…filthy poofters…..expel ‘em.”
- (His accent is perfect, mostly because of how many times he’s been scolded)
- Later in the Common Room when the dramas of the day have settled and Remus and Sirius are lying together on the couch.
- The Portrait Hole opens and a first year runs in.
- “I’ve got a letter from Dumbledore!!! It’s for…”
- He reads the envelope and calls out “Sirius and Remus!”
- Sirius and Remus look and each other and Remus raises his hand
- They expect a notice of suspension but instead receive a letter of apology and a few jokes.
- Dumbledore even includes notes about an old ‘friend’ Grindewald.
the-imaginarium-of-aesthetics:
-Her favourite colour is yellow, she wears a brilliantly lemon yellow raincoat in the winter, sunshine yellow dresses in the summer and daisy pins on her denim jacket all year round- but her favourite yellow was of sunflowers, runny egg yellow, ‘here comes the sun’ , marmalade toast yellow and home-made lemonade yellow.
-She’s muggle-born and proud, especially after Snape calling her a “mudblood” and has since made a point of using muggle products as an alternative to wizarding ones and so uses pom-pom topped, light up biros in class much to the pureblood fascination and envy.
-being super clumsy and forever gesticulating wildly and bashing her elbow or tripping over her own feet in exuberance of waving at Mary/Marlene/Alice.–so she wears muggle cartoon character plasters constantly like disney princess, Mr Men or Winnie the Pooh plasters, and purebloods (aka Sirius and James) would get super excited when they got a little paper cut or something because yessss they totally have an excuse to get a plaster off her. (tbh I can totally see Sirius fighting with James over their favourite disney princess plaster)
-Lily saving her Bambi plasters for James and James being borderline hysterical with happiness when she specifically gives them to him.
-Lily not having a ‘signature scent’ (even though Marlene insists that she ought to, so that people (aka guys) will associate the smell with her and think of her whenever they smell it) but having a modest collection of perfumes and wearing different ones every day: like oranges, or as a private joke:lilies, or jasmine and rose or cinnamon. But she always smells a little like vanilla and her hair like coconut, thanks to her favourite shampoo & conditioner (one of the few wizarding products that she couldn’t find a muggle alternative for).
-having a great love and passion for art, dragging her friends (mostly Sirius though because he totally had an appreciation for the ‘finer things’ and loved him some culture) around galleries and painting and drawing whenever she was able, so that usually she had a little paint under her nails, on her cheek or in her hair.
-Lily having an obnoxiously loud laugh, a full on head thrown back, eyes screwed tight and stomach clutching, snorting kind of laugh but the most endearingly girlish giggle.-she reads avidly, from Virgina Woolf to Hogwarts, a History and the Minister of Magic’s autobiography and could talk for hours about the intentions of characters with Remus (which James of course resented and grumbled about until over the summer he read all of her favourite books so that he could proudly slip references from them into conversation)
-She cries like a baby at any sad moment in every movie, advert, book, play or musical, right until the credits rolled.
-she loves to cook and did so determinedly even though most of the time she burnt something. But she made a point of baking everyone a birthday cake (even James in 6th year, which delighted him so much he didn’t eat it until he had paraded it around, showing it off to everyone- even if it was shaped and decorated like a giant squid).
i love the fact that ron helped george at the shop after the war as much as everyone else does but it was totally lee who became his partner in crime after that
or better
angelina joined and they were an unstoppable trio of fun??
i hope lee jordan carried on potterwatch after the war
like, just reporting on the incredibly mundane things that harry is doing, interspersed with bad puns
ok but harry secretly loves it? in the middle of all that media attention and ridiculous claims by Rita Skeeter and everyone else, there’s a radio show that concentrates on headlines like “POTTER CAUGHT WEARING MISMATCHED SOCKS!” instead of pairing him up with every girl he talks to. For years he only agrees to give interviews to Potterwatch, and they’re all on silly subjects. “Ginny made me degnome the garden, but I’m rather bad at it, so I have to pay my kids in chocolate frogs to do it, they just augmented their prices…” Sometimes when he gets bored he calls Lee: “Hey, I got an exclusive for you, I just learned how to change a diaper one-handed!” and somehow Potterwatch becomes a parenting show?
remus taking sirius to rock concerts.
by the end of the night when they’re just driving around, sirius just can’t stop jamming to all these rock bands. he’s like really really living the moment *picture sirius like sam when she’s in the car listening to heroes in the perks of being a wallflower* *also picture sirius’s long black hair dancing with the wind* *and remus trying to keep his eyes on the road but d a m n sirius*
idk random as f*** headcanons i have about our favourite group of idiots.
- Remus gets an undercut the summer of 6th year, Sirius sees him stepping off the train (he’d been in the prefect carriage and had not had a chance to see the boys) in september and is a stuttering mess
- Sirius has mastered the man bun and is always asking Lily for hair bands and James is always finding bobby pins in the bathroom
- Peter bites his nails until they bleed and Lily has picked up the habit of carrying muggle plasters to put on his fingers because they get so sore and painful, he will never admit it, but he loves when Lily fusses over him because someone cares
- Lily is only 5″4 but James is 6″2
- James always rolls his shirt sleeves up to his elbows and Lily getting distracted in transfiguration because hey, Potter actually has really nice arms, wow those years of quidditch really pays off-STOP LILY WHAT THE ACTUAL F*** ARE YOU DOING FANTASIZING ABOUT POTTER’S FORE ARMS and she goes pink and it carries down her neck and huffs and is flustered and James is sat there next to her like wtf are you okay
- James always forgets to tie his shoe laces and doesn’t realize it and Remus always has to magically tie them for him before he falls down the stairs on his way to the Great Hall every morning. James has no knowledge of it.
- The only quills Lily ever has are the sugar kind
- Remus also being 6″2
- Remus wears the big loose knit, wide neck jumpers that show his collarbones and sleeves that hang over his hands
- Sirius being 5″11 and hating it
- Lily has freckles everywhere and a strawberry pink birthmark on her hip
- Remus is the only Marauder who can drive, other than Lily who learns after Hogwarts
- Peter never growing any taller than 5″6 but he looses all his baby weight in 5th year
- Lily only being a b-cup but James could write sonnets (his own words late night to the boys in their dorm)
- Remus’s condition making him thin but not skinny, and the transformations are taxing on his muscles, so he always has abs and strong arms, making him lean, like James, though no-one other than the boys has ever seen him shirtless because of the scars only they understand.
first year charlie weasley approaching first year tonks and asking her if it’s true she can change her appearance
first year tonks changing her face into charlie’s to show him it’s true
first year charlie weasley being absolutely fascinated by that and asking her if she can turn her face into a dragon’s face
first year tonks turning her face into a dragon like face because she loves to try out new things
first year charlie weasley being so happy about it he almost cries
first year charlie weasley and first year tonks becoming bffs
CHARLIE WEASLEY AND TONKS BEING BFFS
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧